Archive | February, 2023

Rare

21 Feb

That raw emotive scream

When you enter this world

Transfixed with purpose

What you chose to come back for

Guiding lights from forgotten stars

Hidden messages fading into the universe

Focusing on a script instead of the book

Never ending words on a page

Glistening from the eagle’s eye

I’ve travelled through worlds

Across glaciers and mountains

Swam through oceans

Run across rivers

Spirits’ light year stands still

Peacefully

Whispering echoes

Wisdom from the elders

Golden scriptures written in the air

From stone to plant to finger tips

Preaching proverbial passages

Laterally mimicking each time zone

For when there is only now

Not then and not tomorrow

You see it all

Transfixed by every combination

Pink sky and transcendent lightning

Travelling through

The rarest fire rainbow

Phenomenal luminous colours

From mother nature’s twinkling web

There’s a delicate code

Fibonacci’s sequence

In numerology and ancient astrology

Mythology theology

And prophecy

Sacred philosophy

Finding my feet on sand to grass to mud

Suffocated by oil

And polluted waters

Endless man made plastic

Streaming sentences

Across a dead machine

Bring back the beating of those drums

Dancing across frets

A plectrum strikes the strings

From catgut to nylon

Guttern to vihuela

The mysticism of psychic gifts

Telekinesis

Biokinesis

Elekectrokinesis

Has me thinking

About what’s to come

Soon

Lay low

Lie still

Chill out

Sleep

You’re ready

It’s written on my Sanskrit bracelet

The truth is so old

It’s bold

Be brave

Live to Dream, Dream to Live

20 Feb

I was born 30th September 1983

I’ve dreamed to dance

Dreamed to act

Dreamed to sing

Dreamed to write

Dreamed to film

Dreamed to run

Dreamed to win

You asked me to perform

Something I don’t take light

Needing to learn my lines off by heart

And deliver with ease

Poetic performance

So here’s my life simply

I was born and schooled with privilege

Got diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder at 17

My life changed

Friends fade

Learnt who my real friends were

Got a secretarial diploma

Worked in property

Spent my twenties in NHS psychiatric wards

Being sectioned

Taking them to tribunal

Winning each case

Studied advanced personal training, nutrition, obesity, pre and post natal, arthritis, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis, Swedish body massage, sports massage and injury

Worked in a gym

Studied to be a doctor

Got 100% in my maths exam

It was the 2008 recession

I quit after a year

Working for a commercial real estate company

Helped out bands

Made a few plans

Worked for a Private Equity firm

Learnt what was private and understood why

Broke down in 2017

Exhausted

Pinned down

Injected again

Missed my brother’s wedding

We’re super close

Him and me

Met my boyfriend of 5 years

He has disabilities

There are struggles

But there is joy and love

Worked in retail

Learnt why I never wanted to be involved in the retail industry

Unless it was ethical, fair, sustainable

The consumerism, amount of clothes and pace of new lines concerned me

The plastic packaging destroyed me

I left

I’m now a part-time nanny

I work with Jazzi Sirius

Who I think is rare, beautiful, unique and talented

Above all empathetic

I feel protective

I have my low phases and high phases

Schizoaffective Disorder is part Bi Polar part Schizophrenia

You want to talk about mental health

There needs to be more focus on severe mental illness

Forget the stigma

I get why it’s there

We fear what we don’t understand

But I’m not afraid

It takes a lot to scare me

I think about people without running water

People who pick tea

And the coke trail cost of life

I think about the climate crisis

Greta Thunberg is my hero

I also like Amal Clooney’s work in human rights

This is more like prose than poetry

But if I’m gonna be a headline act

I need to be honest and open

Cards on the table

I’ve had a pathological gambling addiction, promiscuity and compulsive overspending on one medication

Weight gain on every other

I’ve had sexual dysfunction

I’ve never taken anti depressants

Medication should be your last resort

The system’s broken

I have many friends with severe mental health conditions

Personality disorders are a separate entity but they need help too

There’s no time for discrimination

Black lives do matter

The dairy industry can cause huge suffering

When I go into a supermarket I get overwhelmed

Thinking of every human worker

Primary, secondary and tertiary industry

Religious delusion is common in psychosis

So is grandiosity

Understanding leads to acceptance

I don’t let my diagnosis define me

It helps others more than me

I’ve been writing my life story since I was 17

I’m now 39

My dream is to make it into a film

I have ADHD

It affects us all differently

I have comprehension dyslexia

I run, I play tennis, I am captain of my hockey team

My family mean everything to me

I don’t underestimate their support

I see and know others from broken homes

I believe it starts before conception

I have no children for reasons mentioned above

But I love children

I think there are too many of us

But I think Mother Nature always finds a way

I don’t think it will be easy but we’re in this together

And if we’re on the same page

I’ve got your back

If I learnt this off by heart

And didn’t forget my lines

Maybe there’s hope for my damaged brain

Memory’s a muscle

I can be lazy

I’m in awe of dancers

I was told I was a Russian Prima Ballerina in a past life

I remember spinning on stage

I have an affinity with certain classical music pieces I remember dancing to

A nurse in the Second World War

An effeminate Persian masked prince

Who kept his identity a secret while dancing

And would gallop across the desert

I get visions from my past lives

Going all the way back

I’m open to your views and opinions

Easily swayed

I have innate confidence

My self esteem needs work

I find it hard to let go from people I shouldn’t have in my life

I’m not married

Freedom and peace are two of the most important things to me

My favourite things in the world are sleep, dancing, travelling in many senses of the word and sex

So there we have it

Stream of consciousness

I wrote this in 10 minutes

At 04:49 on 17th December 2022

For tonight

I’ll put it on http://www.palice.org tomorrow

Dream to Live, Live to Dream

Peace out dudes ✌️

The Persian Forest’s River

8 Feb

There’s this river of sound

Running through my veins

A cataclysmic energy

A raging violent volcano

Causing a mega tsunami

Of tainted emotion

My silhouette of songs

From the golden era of

Rock ‘n’ Roll

Cascading colours across the stage

Emblazoning technicolour strobe lights

Luminous and silver costumes

And music videos transcending

Time

Eclipsing the paralleled universes

As time reminisces

This ancient Persian masked dance

Where it takes me back

To galloping across the strains of sand

Hiding from the moonlit palace

The stars whisper their scriptures

Along forgotten corridors

Stored in ancient galaxies

I can feel your hands

In a forgotten era

Of woodland and windy trees

I don’t need to be standing beside you

To sense your sacred soul

Splitting lateral to fragmented seconds

Evolutionising from ape

To caveman

To warrior

Bring it back Poseidon

With your gigantic trident

Aphrodite’s sprinting

Through the chariots of

Rhythm

Why so many souls and

So many lives

To bring me back round

Here again

Longing for that one friend’s

Forgiveness

Stride on through Mercury’s

Pace

And Jupiter’s power

To soldier this process

Sing from my soul

Without the strength of the drums

I’d be lost

In the oracle

Of the oceanic ethereal dream

Infinite Love

3 Feb

Those feelings last night

Of endless flowing waterfalls

Full of love and tantric energy

A schism, endless prism

Of the vortex of many souls

Yes there is one

But I never see him

Have never held him

Or kissed those lips

But the Gods and the universe

Know this story so well

This fable is so old

So many lives have gone by

Knowing this one

Is it madness?

It doesn’t feel like it

It feels like heaven

Pure truth

So to the next chapter

Of not knowing if we’ll

Ever meet again

I’m gonna perform

In these luminous trainers

Wearing black

And silver jewellery

Reciting these words from heart

Playing my part

Surrounded by the love

And lack of judgement

From fellow poets, musicians and artists

From gig to gig

Working on my craft

Honing those vocal notes

Practising the strings

Tinkling the keys

Therein lies the magic

And my purpose

Thank you Jazzi, Alia, Mia and T./MO

For the encouragement

And wisdom

To keep going

Progress

I know this journey is my purpose

With sisterhood and brotherhood

Listening to his sound

Helps the words flow

But we gotta go

Keep running

Up that hill

Climbing Lion’s Head

To me, you’ll never be dead

With a responsibility

I don’t take light

A fear that causes

Me fright

Heads up

Looking into your eyes

The sea of souls

We’re in this together

And forever

We’re whole