Casino Vibes

It’s the extreme emotions

I was and still am

Addicted to

The euphoria when you

Win

And your chips are high

The depths of despair

When you lose

And your chips

Disappear

I still gamble

Black Jack

I’ve always loved cards

The skill

The pace

I did have a pathological

gambling addiction

But that was due to the

medication Abilify

and its lie

It was meant to help me

Not affecting my weight as

much as the others

But it caused mayhem

As well as pathological gambling

Promiscuity and compulsive

Overspending

I was £28K in debt

I needed help

Big time

But now I’m not on Abilify

I went back to Casino Empire

With my discipline

On Latuda now

Which causes weight gain

But apart from that

It’s a good medication

So I gamble

Responsibly, carefully

I don’t chase my money

And with skill and luck

I win

Without pain

There’s no gain

With loss

Take the toss

I watch the guys play

with their chips

On roulette, we have a

Strategy

28 Black, 8 and 18

But cards and numbers

aren’t that simple

There’s a complexity to them

But if you’ve read my

Blog

You’ll know about my 100%

Maths exam

When I did an Access

Course to Medicine

There’s a rhythm to the

cards

Sometimes I just go to

casinos to watch, not to

play

They’re fascinating and

also tragic dens

But through the lens

You can see their stories

Why they’re there

All for a different reason

I have been to GA

Gambler’s Anonymous

Back in the day

When I joined SENSE

And self excluded

There’s something about

The wiring of their brains

that I empathise with

It also intrigues me

A different energy to the

NA rooms

So,,,,

You can lose your job

Your home

Your wife

Your life

The stories I’ve heard

I’ll never forget

I carry them with me

So I’ll never be in debt