My Repellent 

So this is why I smoke 🚬 

There are a few reasons

But to repel was the first reason

Without going into too much detail

To protect identities

It is private

But some people hate the fact I smoke

So I used it as a repellent

Back off

Stay back

Give me space

‘Don’t stand so close to me’

Hands that have touched me inappropriately

And I am extremely sensitive to energy

And how that energy feels

I am a massage therapist

It is a profession

But if I was giving a boyfriend a massage

It would be a different energy

To if I were massaging a client

Touch

I love having a massage

Hospital

You are no longer allowed to smoke on the wards

And I have been in hospital eleven times

So I have broken the rules

Got tobacco smuggled in for me

American Spirit

What the Native Americans used to smoke

In a pipe

A ritual

After someone dies

To smoke that spirit away

Clear the energy

Smoking comes with a certain energy

I am a poet

This is not a poem

It is a piece of honest writing

I can tell if someone has never smoked

I can tell if someone smokes

I can tell if someone used to smoke but no longer smokes

All from their energy

ENERGY

River smoked

But said people would die from eating a burger

I eat red meat

River was a vegan 🌱 

And I respect vegans

Even though I am not one

I am always interested in what tobacco people smoke

Do you roll?

Or smoke straights?

Do you like matches?

The fire 🔥 

I used to love Swans

Before they became safety matches

Please do not judge me

For I do not judge you

Yes I can sing

The music producer said I need to give up smoking

Singing is more important to me than smoking

And I know it affects my voice

I always listen to Whitney

She says I have it in me

She sang with the head, heart and diaphragm 

Breathing

Her mother taught her

My mother said I would have done it by now

Maybe I was trying to please her with working full time

But I do not blame her

For not understanding my art

I have now explained it

And she knows how much it means to me

So here’s to making my dreams my reality

When I practice

I am often alone

But now if someone asks me to sing

I just sing

In the middle of a pub at full volume

Without a care in the world

Because I was born to sing

I used to sing out of the window at four years old to Oliver Twist

Trying to sound like Oliver

Your dreams don’t go away

They just burn inside of you like smoking

Until you achieve them

So run towards them

Not away from them

Because when you’re eighty in your rocking chair Palice

I do not wish for you to have any regrets