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Big Fucking Pharma: I detest you!

23 Jul

I can’t even run because there’s too much acid in my muscles 

And I’m fatigued in a horrific way

In the way of a person who is being poisoned

I have no less than 25 side effects

Your practices are abhorrent

You should see the way I eat off meds

Organic, wild, free range and healthy

Now I’m on a diet of takeaways and coke zero

And that is not a mistake

You love the food lobbyists

You all work together

I know your secrets

I would happily watch you being set on fire

And relish it

Due to the death, deformity and suffering you have caused

You have no idea what you are doing 

But the truth is you do know what these medications

Or should I say poisons are actually doing

Yet you’re in bed with the FDA

So they approve it and redact accordingly

In the States, when money’s involved

If it makes money

That’s all you give a flying fuck about 

Who cares how much damage it causes

How much permanent damage, death and deformity it causes

If you’re making money

You’re winning

It’s North American ideology

It’s been sold to you

And gets thrust down your throats daily

You have ruined me

You have ruined my brain beyond repair

Scarred me and left me with permanent damage

But it’s fine

Because I knew from day one

This life would be a sacrifice

I was born ready

You should see a picture of me aged two years old

With my little fists in fighting positions

My house mistress at The Dragon

Aged 10 years old said

‘You know yourself so well Alice’

I do because I was born ready

I’m a very old soul 

So I only come back down 

If I really bloody have to

And my God, did I have to

Look these words up

Common side effects of Paliperidone on NICE:

Agitation

Amenorrhoea

Arrhythmias

Constipation

Dizziness

Drowsiness

Dry mouth 

Erectile dysfunction

Fatigue

Galactorrhoea

Gynaecomastia

Hyperglycaemia

Hyperprolactinaemia

Hypersalivation

Hypotension (dose-related)

Insomnia

Leucopenia

Movement disorders

Muscle rigidity

Neutropenia

Parkinsonism

Postural hypotension (dose-related)

QT interval prolongation

Rash

Seizure

Tremor

Urinary retention

Vomiting

Weight increased

Uncommon side effects:

Agranulocytosis

Confusion

Neuroleptic malignant syndrome (discontinue—potentially fatal)

Rare of very rare side effects:

Sudden death

Withdrawal syndrome neonatal

Further information:

For depot antipsychotics—side-effects may persist until the drug has been cleared from its depot site

What does that even mean?

Surely you mean

Excreted or secreted from the physical body?

I could name a few more

But guess what, I don’t want to bore people

Even though this is as boring as it gets

When psychoses are vital, important processes

I repeat myself like a broken record 

Because I have to drum it home

Until you get it 

And you

STOP! 

Do you call the above medicine?

Because to me it is the antithesis of medicine

Medication Global Nation

Please statistically calculate 

How many people you currently have on anti-psychotics globally

And while we’re at it anti-depressants

I instinctively never touched them

But I have been forced to take anti-psychotics 

Against my will

It is MY body

It is MY life

I am MY own best DOCTOR

I do not care how insane you think I am

You have driven me crazy and made me ill

With all of your bollocks and bullshit in the west 

It is ludicrous

Stop staring down test tubes

And admit defeat

You will NEVER get it right!

You have to treat the individual

Not the collective

You have to tailor medicine to that individual

Synthetic mimicked chemicals are not the answer

We need plants

Don’t mimic them!

I am willing to try microdosing of magic mushrooms

But it would need to be the right plant

Kinesiologically tested on my unique body

That goes for everyone else as well

We are so beautifully unique

We are energy, meridians, water

Not fucking chemicals and synapses

You stupid idiots

This modern western bullshit is repugnant

And so grotesque

It’s obscene the animal testing you do

I struggle with it and I am the strongest person I know

I dread to think how a rat or mouse feels

You are literally vile and you rile me

To the very core of my being 

Like the yin yang in the core of the earth

We need ancient wisdom and healing

Do you know what the word even means? Healing

Wake up and smell the coffee

And literally see the damage you are causing the gut microbiome

The second brain

I would love to see you all bankrupt, jailed and 

Eradicated from medicine

Because you disgrace the word and yourselves

You have blood on your hands

And I hope you rot in hell

I will continue to fight

With all of my might

Guided from up above

With a soul full of love

I will try to not practice displacement aggression

And take it out on those that I love the most

As you are the ones who deserve my wrath

The colour of every flame

Try the red flame, then the blue then the green

Trust me
I think I do know how hot and how painful

Those flames can feel

Like the fire from a dragon’s mouth

Intrepid, I have walked so long in the South

So please look at photographs of me on and off meds

And tell me which looks healthy

I am living proof of your sickness

You create and make people sick

Therefore you are pure evil

Money is dead

It is simply dead trees

Numbers and machines

That’s literally all it is

You fucking pricks

Sexual dysfunction as well

So I have no form of relief

If I get Amenorrhea 

I will happily rip your flesh off 

And eat you alive

Yes I’m an actress 

No, I’m not a cannibal

But maybe I’ll get a cannibal 

To do it for me

I don’t think you really get WRATH

Until you’ve felt TORTURE!

The Fool

23 Jul
The Fool

Is important

But The Fool needs to know thyself

Why does The Fool do what The Fool does?

Running

Running

Running

Over the cliff blithely

Don’t give up on your reason

Even though you always do end up committing treason

You make me laugh

But I have to admit

You are the most frustrating person on the planet!

So you can renounce resistance

And follow your instincts freely

Annihilation

I could literally shake you

Like an earthquake

Becoming one with your own vision

That’s more what happens in your fifties

Too busy with that trumpet in your ear

Remember how strong and grounding your best bassist is

The gentle strength of the keyboardist

Letting go and moving on

Oh look, another song

Wow!

Who cares?

Do you care?

Who still cares?

So wrapped up in the feelings

But literally we couldn’t give less of a fuck about the feelings because you give the impression 

You do not care

So why the hell should we?

The Boss’ song

Devils & Dust

Please rewatch the music video

The end

Until tomorrow

79: My young man’ll be just fine

21 Jul
M&D

Don’t worry darling Daddy

Maybe I should be your caddy

Just for your special day

Celebrating your birthday

Oh how you love to play

Golf and you swing the club in style 

I do love you

My love for my family

Encompasses the Nile

Feel like we could take on the world

Although I know you don’t want me to

Just would like me to fight my own battle

But I’m determined to help the herd

Every single damaged cattle

I guess I’ve always been like this

Thinking of everyone

Maybe it is part of the problem

And leaves me in a conundrum

To just be selfish and focus on myself

I take it to extreme

Always looking for that love supreme

This planet is not in an ideal state

Thinking about The Butterfly Effect

And our palms, do we only get one fate?

Dear Daddy, how you made up stories

When we were little

Played with me on roller skates

In Battersea Park

It’s a shame I didn’t pick up a fiddle

But the piano, tuba and flute were good

Who knew about the ADHD

It’s always been there

Living in Wandsworth, in the hood

But again, not keen on taking something for it

If it contains side effects

Then it ain’t perfect and I am simply not interested

You have been through a lot

I have never forgotten what you have said

As Pappa would say

‘It wasn’t easy’

But maybe that’s the mountain

It will take a lot to get to a better view

Never take your eyes off of your hands and feet

Be careful with the coffee

And stay hydrated

Not too much red meat

Sometimes we have to repeat ourselves

But you do take it on board

Even if we have to raise our voices

Make our points, they were stated

Now about your health young one

Was it the ECT, Lithium, Atkins or genes?

Who knows but boy, I’m keen 

To get to the bottom of all things medical

You have been through so much

And you’re still fighting on

To be honest, I think you’re incredible

Not sure quite how you do it

With your sensitivity 

You must be seriously robust and strong

I will never forget my 40th song

You sang for me

You’re so beautifully clever

Love the way your best friend Andrew

Always knows about the weather

I do think about Freddie

Your other best friend

The amount of memorial services you attend

You’re so good at seeing people through

To the very end

Of life, through all of their strife

Isn’t Mummy simply the best wife

I hate what has happened to me

Everything the meds have done

I seriously do detest

The state of affairs that my beloved family

Are dealing with in our nest

We have to seriously find a new path

It’s probably an ancient one

Trust me, something has to give

Enjoy all of the good things in life

Especially Mummy

Daddy, you can be so wonderfully funny

Will, your sister, your friends, family

We all love you so so much

You’ve always had those healing hands

Like Granny, gentle to the touch

Now where would I be without such a loving father?

Why I feel like the luckiest girl in the world

You take me that much further

With your jokes and thinking outside the box

The way we have laughed as a family through the years

They’re my favourite moments

Being with all of you

I would love for you to see me on stage one day

So I can show you what I really can do

Peace be with you

Just stay true 

Guys, I just wanna be your guitars

15 Jul

Play me like you play your strings

All the girls in the crowd

I love what it brings

Elvis and Beatle mania

The way they go wild

Hold their hands up to their faces

And scream with Euphoria

It’s like sex on a plate

Puts them in that perfect state

A trance like frenzy

Where you just wanna fuck their brains out

Leave them panting and shaking

While the world around you is breaking

Dripping from the seams

The way they have balanced on their beams

Just release it all

Let loose 

Roam free

Find your eclectic frequency

The vibration in your raw energy

Get on your knees

Do a somersault like Jimi

The beauty of the birds and the bees

This is not for children

Parental Guidance

I think I need to separate the difference 

Between the matinees and the night shows

Cumming alive at night

Gentle bite

Sex starved but my mind is free

Am I exactly where I’m supposed to be?

Because if so, then this must be my charity work

But patients cannot visit patients

What the hell do I do?

About all the mess they’ve made

I just wanna be your guitars

And listen to the sound

Lie down

Alone in the crowd

Where you practice

Where you chill

Spending hours geeking out

It’s such a vibe

A potent falice

Do you wanna dance with Palice?

CAGED ANIMAL!

14 Jul

You would wanna medicate a rare, wild

One

Wouldn’t 

You?

Having screaming matches about the word I 

Detest

And what it 

Signifies

What do I need to do to get my message 

Across

To leave me to 

It

You have riddled me with no less than 16 side 

Effects

Which I am now getting rid of so I can

Fast

And again, you want to have the discussion about 

It

Because that is what you 

Do

It’s like Passion of the Christ

All over 

Again!

When are you going to 

Learn?

LEAVE ME ALONE!

As I said, I would prefer to be in

Solitary

I will spend the rest of the day in

Silence

Is that what you would 

Like?

For me to not have a 

Voice?

And remain silent for however long it

Takes

Because I’m willing to to prove 

It

WHATEVER IT TAKES!

Wimbledon Final 2025

13 Jul
Alcaraz|Sinner

As I sit and 

Wait

The temperance

Of what I 

Anticipate

The umpire has a certain state of 

Mind

It takes a lot of focus

With my ADHD

I think I’d definitely

Find

It hard to keep the 

Score

But knowing

More

About the way the boys

And girls hold that luminous

Ball

What a code word

Please don’t worry

If you

Fall

It makes me think of the word

Candescent

I love the colour

It’s pure

Fluorescent

So to locker room

Chat

With your masseur

Your coach

That

Pat

On your back

It’s such a mental

Game

At this point

Hold your composure

You deserve your

Fame

What a match it was

Yesterday

The emotion of Amanda Anisimova

The game at 

Play

The way you spoke

Your words and 

Tears

Use the experience wisely

And have no

Fears

What a result for Iga Swiatek

The first Polish

Ever

To win the 

Championship

Girl, that was

Clever

What a beautiful lady and

Player

All of that hard work

Kissing the plate

You so deserve it

Pay her

To win in less than an 

Hour

Strength, resilience

Even your higher

Power

I loved your celebratory 

Smile

It encompassed the world

On the papers

Like swimming through the 

Nile

Sinner/Djokovic

What a semi final match

Seeing Leo in the crowd

Wanted me to say

‘There you go Jack,

Catch’ :-)))

And Rami 

Too

I didn’t think anyone could play Freddie

But what a performance you

Do

Novak Djokovic

I’m interested in your 

Diet

Not sure if it’s for me

But I’m willing to try

It

Gentlemen and Ladies of the 

Crowd

Wearing your beautiful hats

You make them feel so 

Proud

Fans are fanning

For Jannik Sinner and Carlos Alcaraz

Hopefully, it’s John

McEnroe

No rain or 

Snow

Guys, I cannot 

Wait

I’m looking forward to the 

Show

EUROS

10 Jul
Trophy

Go girls 

Go

Make history

Be a champion

I love watching you 

Flow

Every single golden 

Move

It gets me going 

And puts me in the 

Groove

The way it feels boots on the 

Grass

The ball moves quicker

Make sure you accurately 

Pass

So here we’re at in 

2025

Shoot the ball

Throw your body and 

Dive

Lionesses, every 

Team

Get those awesome goals

Celebrate in style

And fulfil your 

Dream

🔥🫧🌳🌈🏆⚽️⚜️

Wimbledon

8 Jul

Dressed all in translucent white

Your bodies are so beautifully tight

Quick step, sprinting left to right

Serving so incredibly fast

Make sure your stamina lasts

All of your hard work

And training

Will it pay off so you

Can celebrate with a famous 

Twerk

I’ve seen your tattoos,

Nails, muscles, liquids

Watched the way you serve

Running up to the net

Skids and swerve

The dedication is hard to 

Put into words

Muhammad Ali put it so eloquently:

‘Champions aren’t made in gyms.

Champions are made from something

They have deep inside them.

A desire, a dream, a vision.

They have to have last-minute stamina,

They have to be a little faster,

They have to have the skill and the will.

But the will must be stronger than the skill.’

So as the spectators eat strawberries

And drink champagne

You’re working your socks off

With everything to gain

And if you lose or get injured

Yes, there’ll be pain

A bit like when you’re just about 

To take your first shot

And it pours with rain

No worries, you made the championship 

Competition

With all the brilliant commentators, the music

What a rendition 

You made history and your 

Work never goes unnoticed

I hope at some point you have fun

You can tell your friends and family

You played Wimble don(e)

Amy’s Amo

2 Jul

Amy kept it pretty Frank

With the money rolling in the bank

You can ask without disturbing her

Gods eyes are the colour of Ocean Mer

Your beauty in Fuck me Pumps

Had me in a spin

The way you pull your dress up sexily

Baby, you’re gonna win

I didn’t like the way they didn’t look after you

If I were you I would, over the rainbow, still sue

What a heavenly law suit

I think I know who I would give the boot

So I went to the pub where you played pool

You were all around me

I could see all the paparazzi

Following you home

One of them was a complete tool

Oh girl, they hounded you like Britney and Di

I think I’m like Gaga

They don’t really bother me

But I did stick my tongue out at them

When they tested me

A photo is not and will never be free

When you value and collect photography

It comes at a price

They take away part of your soul according to Riv

And the Native Americans

Sometimes I feel like swimming in cool water like the killer whales

Or taking off like the pelicans

Everybody dance now

I know sometimes you acted like a cow

But babe, I do not blame you

Knowing what you were dealing with

All that pressure, something’s always gonna give

So you were into sex, drugs and MJ

Green brown eyes girl

I love the way you fly

How many times did you go on stage?

Did you ever feel like taking all your clothes off

And chucking your drink in the air with pure rage?

I think I was locked up when you were in rehab

We never met and I never attended a single show

You went to performing arts school

At the same time I was supposed to

I used to do two dance classes a day

I had singing lessons at school

And was ready at two

I used to boss my family around

Born ready to sing, dance, run, write and act

Wish we’d met, we’d have got along and made some cool pact

Why did I feel a connection to you?

Just like Lena Zavaroni

Child Star but it got her

I have always liked to eat

Just like in Angelina Ballerina

Vegans, I confess, I eat meat

Pretty sure little Riv is meant to be an occasional omnivore

Sorry Phoenix family but that is his true score

I think Leaf is naturally meant to be one too

How could I say that to a family full of Vegans

Which I highly respect

Note the animal kingdom

Riv learnt about the lion on the other side 

That does not mean we don’t care about animal welfare

What on earth have we done?

We’re like a virus

Baa, please do get your gun

Or shall I get my javelin 

I remember the way I used to hunt

With a knife never in a zoo

Caveman, I owe everything to you.

So back to you Amy

I would just like to finish on this note

I wish you’d got into exercise 

And not chucked up

Threw the ball, kicked it or swung a bat

Wish you’d found your health and tipped your bowler hat

What was your spirit animal?

You remind me of Nemesis

I like you up there in heaven with Whitney

I’m a medium and it was awesome to do all of that healing in Vermont

What a beautiful land and lake

It took a lot but you’re totally worth it

I feel like we’re friends now

Thank the spirits for showing me how

Before the run

28 Jun

I wanna write about you

There’s something about the way that you

Stand

The way you move both a hand

The feet and toes in you

The mannerisms boy blue

Your ballet pose

Now I haven’t run for about a month

So for me, ten minutes

Would be something

But for you

It’s like running across

A small ocean

Ultra marathons

And 50 kilometres

The stamina it takes

To do that

The mental focus

It seriously impresses me

I’m trying to remember

If I remember you

Were you part of that

Kiswahili tribe

Have I known you before?

I’m not sure

You’re like a supernatural

Comic book hero

Hollywood will know the 

One

Not sure if it was Heaman

But you’re something

I can’t quite put my finger

On it

Pretty sure they’ll know

It’s written in your blood

I can see it in my visions

Was tryna work it out

A while back

From a sporty family 

Like me

Although I’ve paid you

In the past 

I get the impression

You do care

And that means a lot

To someone like me

Now how does it feel

When you’re running

I always ask the Olympians

When they’re training

What they’re running for

I run for rain where 

There is drought

Some run for gold

Some run for their country

Some run for blood

Some run for freedom

I felt like you run

For love

I could be wrong

It’s a brilliant

Focus

When you channel

Your energy into 

Something positive

Like exercise

This isn’t really a poem

Sometimes I just feel 

Like watching your brother

Play tennis

With the ball going back

And forth

It’s hypnotic

And boy he’s good

What a champion

I reckon he’d thrash me

But I would have beaten him

At twelve and fifteen

When I peaked

If I trained hard

I might get a game

But that’s about it

Did you like Challengers?

Good channelling

Aware of the scripts

Now the trouble is

It’s the way he sees me

It really pisses me off

Sometimes I feel the way

Somebody interprets you

Can be really warped

It pisses him off 

That I do this

But equally

Who gives a fuck

It’s just ‘a bunch of words’

Like a bunch of songs

What really matters

When you get to your 

Death bed

Most people say they

Wished they’d seen people

More and had more sex

I think he’s forgotten 

Or doesn’t even know 

Who I am?

We used to get on well

But it’s mired the situation

Unnecessarily so

When what’s so easy for me

Is difficult for them

My God did I send endless 

Bloody boring sometimes

Insane messages

But did I want to send one?

No!

Didn’t I wanna meet up

And have a chat 

And sort it out

And crack on with it

Bring my ideas to the table

Yes

Can I put feelings aside

Too damn easily

Can others?

I wish they could

Glastonbury 2025

Could have looked 

Pretty different

The band would be back

Together by now

I’m sure of it

Those are my skills

I wish people would appreciate

Our different skills

Bring them to the table

And watch the money 

Flow in

Like leaves in autumn

Do I care if someone doesn’t 

Feel anything for me?

No, I find that incredibly

Comfortable

Is it cos I is posh?

I can hear the gang actors

Acting

How does it make you feel

If I speak in your accent

Because when Liam and Noel

Take the piss out of toffs

It really cracks me up

This is prose

I think I have an ugly nose

Not really bothered

Whether I’m ugly or attractive

Because it’s all art to me

Do you know buddy

I wish he could find it in him

I think it would make his 

Life so much easier

It would make me happier

Too

Get people rid of the hang ups

And issues

Pass the tissues

And refrain from any judgement

In the end

We’re all people

We feel

The love is always there

I just wish he would take

Both roads

And make his wildest dreams

Come true

But stop making it

So bloody difficult for himself

I have so many ideas

For his birthdays

They would blow your mind

His friends would love them 

But I’m gonna keep them

A secret

Until he finds it in him

Keep running boyo

I’ll look after your knee

Got that Kenyan runner

Running through you 😉

(Stream of consciousness, it often is 😁)