Tangible capillaries
Full of love
And lustful dreams
The delicate moon
Shines through
The matriarchal energy
When we bleed
Every 28 days
Staying in tune
With this tragic
Universe
We have so much
Work to do
Through my healing hands
I find our distant time
In future’s foretold
Constructing paradise
When in other dimensions
The angels are
Dancing
Across the oceans
Of skies
I hear you calling
My spirit’s name
Gently
When you are dying
When you are thirsty
When you are hungry
When you need light
When you need medicine
When you need healing
God is there
But unfortunately
There is too much evil
In this world
Too much corruption
The seven deadly sins
With seven admissions
Focus on the positive
The purity of love
With your spirit guides
Guiding you through
This life
With a library full of
Past lives
You wonder why I sacrifice
Myself
For this path
This torment of a journey
But there was serious
Work to do
Things to resolve
‘They simply weren’t sensitive to the mental arithmetic of her mind’
Truman Capote said
How do I explain that?
Never mind
I know it’s true
There’s a true beauty
To insanity
Dancing through its liberation
But
May sanity prevail
For my people need me
My loves
Sent from up above
I would do anything for
Love
It really does conquer
All
Through all the wars
All the scars
All the wounded
All the blood
All the tears
All the fears
All the loss
I question
The man
And the patriarchy
The power you crave
Which takes
The innocent
To their grave
The treacherous torture
The vicious repetitive
Rape
Then and only then
I pray for your impotence
I call upon Nemesis
To do her work
For I have Eros
Running through me
And with his tantric
Healing
His feeling
My celibacy is sacred
GA is calling me
When I am addicted
To casino Empire
The cards
The pace of their brains
That exquisite skill
Of magnificent mathematicians
The human psychology
Yet what I witness
Is desperation
Addiction
Clasping their brains
Taking their wedding rings
Off
To attempt to take me
To their hotel rooms
I would never go with you
I would never do that
To your wife
Oh Lord, the strife
Of their life
When I won that
Straight Flush
Playing Black Jack
With poker side bets
I was dealt the eight
Of diamonds
The dealer
The six of diamonds
I turned to Joe
The cute guy next
To me
Who I had just met
Held his t-shirt
And said
Seven of diamonds
And she dealt it
I cannot describe
The euphoria
The ecstatic ecstasy
The magic and the rhythm
To the fortune
And luck
Of winning that
Straight Flush
It is so rare
£2050
Can you imagine?
Yet there is a fear
To never gamble
Again
As I know the rarity
I have learnt my lesson
Never to chase
But having been
£28k in debt
When I was on Abilify
Causing
A pathological
Gambling addiction
Should I really be
Visiting
These tragic dens
I quit smoking
For three days
Then while drinking
A bottle of
Château Les Bouysses
Cahors Malbec
I messaged him
In total desperation
‘Please, please, please
Leave me alone’
So I started smoking
Again
Whatever state he was in
The message is very clear
I needed my
American Spirit
To smoke that spirit
Away
I needed to pray
With my gifts
Why was I so aware
Of him?
I think I am aware
Of the difference
Between my gifts
And my illness
But I do get confused
It has me in a flair
My truthful glare
When he never instigated
Communication
I have been intrusive
In his private life
I have been seriously
Annoying
And to a certain extent
A stalker
By at times
Messaging and emailing him
When we stalk
We need a hawk
The animal code
Nature’s codes
The Fibonacci sequence
I apologise from
The bottom of
My heart
You know I love you
I would do anything
To be your friend
Have you in my life
But I do respect you
Your wishes
Your needs
Can I live without you?
Can I live without water?
Can I live without oxygen?
Can I breathe without you?
Only time will tell
I have walked through
Hell
I saw my father going
Through hell
For Tom
In my 2018 psychosis
I would do anything
Anything
To heal Tom
I would sacrifice it all
For that man
To play his drums
The rarest musician
I have ever come across
Who went to Guildhall
Played in Ronnie Scott’s
One of the best drummer’s
Of his generation
If not the best
But then struck by
The most vicious
Disability
12 long years without
A diagnosis
I have been through his life
Through his past lives
When we were bears
That bear hug
I can see a vulture
Clasping his neck
FND
Functional Neurological Disorder
How do we order
This brain network disorder
How do we collectively
Heal Tom?
Calling on all the Gods
All the healers
All the heavens
All the rarest phenomenons
I would do anything
For him
Please help me
Heal Tom
It is not currently
The FND
It is the fact
He was poly drugged
Prescribed harm
The poison of Venlafaxine
Has truly damaged
Him
And countless others
Anti depressant withdrawal syndrome
Yet he is not a depressive
Yes he is an artist
When we met
They had put him on
Olanzapine
An anti psychotic
Which I was on
When I was 17
The first anti psychotic
I was ever prescribed
I could see what
It was doing to him
But more importantly
He didn’t need it
What the fuck are they doing?
These psychiatrists
They have illnesses themselves
I can see their truth
I can see the way they
Were taught
Reading left to right
Medical degrees
Some even becoming
Professors
But it is the way they
Think
Each one being different
They will all have
A different opinion
But read Cracked
Why Psychiatry is doing more harm than good
By James Davies
I know that is one of
The reasons I am here
I chose my path
My journey
My parents
We need to teach you
Remind you of true medicine
It is in the plants
You do not understand
The brain
So you are playing with
Fire
You have created God’s
Wrath
In me
Calling on his
Messiah
To heal this devastating
Mess
I do confess
He came through me
On one of my admissions
You would diagnose it as
Religious delusion
But how can you be so sure?
Do you have a faith?
Whatever religion
I sometimes learnt more
From the cleaners
And nurses
Than the arrogance
Of the doctors
Primum Non Nocere
First Do No Harm
Yet the harm you have
Caused
Is simply unforgivable
Too many deaths
Too much suffering
For what?
Money?
It is a trillion dollar industry
Big pharma
You have blood on your hands
With your houses
Private jets
And materialistic wealth
I would prefer to be on
The streets
Homeless
Staying true to who I am
Than create money
Out of suffering and death
Yes they do help to a certain extent
But the violation of medication
The torture of being
Pinned down by five nurses
Some of whom
I had never seen before
With force
I was totally calm before that
I was there voluntarily
You broke the law
By injecting me
With Haloperidol
And what it did to me
Twitching my head
Slurred speech
A dribbling wreck
To the point my parents
Couldn’t understand
What I was saying
‘She had a bad reaction’
You could have killed me
And my God
People have died
You cover up the numbers
But we know the truth
God is always counting
All the deaths
All the sins
The torment
The sacrament
Trust me
We need to learn from
Ancient wisdom
Mania and psychosis
Has been around
For millennia
Ask me
Ask the shamans
Ask the witch doctors
Consult the Eastern medics
Kinesiologists
Healers
Homeopaths
Tristan and Isolde
This fable is so old
I have a library full of
Past lives
One of the oldest
Souls in the book
And I am not the only one
We have come back
For a reason
For each other
But mainly to save
This God forsaken
Human race
This entire universe
And other universes
Every grain of sand
Every rock
Every plant
Every mountain
Every particle of water
Every tree
Every river
Every chief
We are trying to save you
There will be a lot of death
There will be a lot of suffering
There will be a lot of displacement
There will be extinction
But the new rarest species
Are returning
There will be proof
To what I can see
But we MUST protect them
Your fossil fuels
And oil
And plastic
Is killing us
And due to your economy
Your numbers
You are not willing to make
The changes
We so desperately need
Screaming at the
Psychopaths
In their worst nightmares
God has love
But God equally has
Wrath
In the bible
I know every word
Every chapter
On another level
Every scripture
Every deity
Because it is written in
My blood
My chalice
Palice will
Remind you
Without a falice
And no malice
Face me
Or
Fear me
It depends what you have done
For I may
Show you no eyes
I may hug you
I may attempt to
Heal you
I may make love to you
It truly depends
On your karma
And your dharma
Putin
You will be a fly at best
Netanyahu
Trump
Xi
You feel powerful
But the hell you will
Face
The torment and suffering
You have inflicted
I have no fear
But fear
God’s wrath
Because he is more
Powerful
Than the demon’s glare
The devil’s stare
The amount of sins
Are counted
The deaths especially
Of war crimes
On innocent children
Are noted
Every move
Every mannerism
Every decision
Every thought
Every deed
Is noted
And you will have
Nemesis
For the amount of time
You deserve
You will never be in my
Prayers
You will never see
Me
But you will be scared
In your nightmares
So back to the future
We need to learn from
Our past
I need to dance
My magic trance
Poet Laureate
I would accept
My dreams and goals
Are my purpose
Believe what I say
But more
Believe what I do
Believe what I write
Believe me when I’ve done it
As this piece draws
To a close
Who knew it would be
So long
But I’ve been travelling
Through my insanity
And my sanity
May sanity prevail
On this Holy Grail
I changed the Lord’s Prayer
From bread to
Holy Water
For it was needed more
What Jesus forgot
What we need to
Heal with
The Last Supper
How do you think Jesus
Survived 40 days and
40 nights
Mary drank and
Mary ate
It was she who kept him
Alive
Passed through him
These hidden secrets
Maybe it was
TIME
You knew the truth
Here’s to our youth
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